So my brother is about to get searched by the FBI to get this really good job or something, so my mother decided to google him and check out things like that, and everything was fine until she came across my xanga page. Even though I never put my brother's full name on here, it still managed to pop up, so she read pretty much everything I wrote here, and now she asked me to put it on private.
So now it's on friend's lock, end of story.

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Friday, after school, my friends and I met up at the Olive Garden to have dinner together. It was lots of fun, of course, but nothing really momentous happened, though... so I'll leave it at that.
On the drive back home, it was six, and I got stuck in terrible traffic on 75 which made me miss an exit and have to do a U-turn and go through it all over again, ugh. When I finally got home, I rushed to put on my make up (which I made to look like a little puppet doll) and little flowery dress. I met up with two of my friends, Ellen and Melisa, at the college afterwards so we could all drive together. They, of course, weren't dressed up. That's okay though. We eventually got to the haunted houses at maybe seven thirty. (Let me just mention that seven thirty at this time of year means pitch black outside). We had to wait around for awhile for our group to get into the haunted houses, so we stood around while the monsters (actors) milled around us, scaring the others. Finally, one of them came to us, and he was dressed as the striped guy from Beetlejuice. He scared the shit out of me and I screamed. Melisa immediately said, "Do you like her boobies?" (her = me). He then kept looking me up and down and I'd hide behind Ellen and he kept saying "Come here, kitty kitty... mmm" and creepy pervy shit like that. Oh god, Melisa is so terrible to me! We finally got rid of him. Then another came, and another, and they all kept coming to me because they all succeeded at making me scream. They literally scare the shit out of me when I turn around and see a fucking creepy-faced clown or some scary shit like that! They all started teaming up on me, too, like all coming at the same time from different angles, then laughing and walking away. Terrible! but funny, I guess. At one point, I literally jumped two feet into Ellen's arms while screaming my head off. Then, another monster came and he was really tall because he was standing on stilts, and you could only see the bottom half of his face... he had a very attractive bottom half of his face by the way... but he scared me at first but then he kept coming back to me, and eventually he tried to show me that he was a nice monster by doing the peace sign, and then he pointed at the Moon and then pointed at me, and my friends translated it as he wanted to give me to moon, and he'd smile and then do a heart with his hands, and then I did a heart with my hands. Awwww, I fell in love with a monster! >< And when I was waiting in line to go in, he peeked his head over the wall and waved to me. haha, what a cute monster. And I watched him, too! He didn't do that to any one else! SO BAM. Yeah, then we went into the three haunted houses. I was glued to Melisa's back the whole time. I screamed at everything and kept saying "Fuck FUCK FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" and at one point, I jumped so much that I made Melisa fall, which made Ellen fall, and that made me scream more because the monsters could eat me when I was on the floor >_> But yeah, then when it was over, I literally ran out of there, and Ellen was laughing at me. Then we went to the stage and listened to the metal concert that was up, and Melisa and I rocked out while Ellen covered her ears. Then at around ten, we left, and I said bye to the cute monster and he gave me a heart again and showed a sad face that I was leaving. Bahha, I want his number! :P just kidding. Sort of.
Then they dropped me off at my house, and Melisa chilled with me for a bit and we had a little jam session. She'd play my acoustic, and I'd play my uke, and we'd combineizzle them.
So that was my night last night.
Now I will spend the rest of Halloween inside, cleaning my room, and watching movies.
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I actually spent it with Andrea.
but here is a picture of the weekend:

My picture of the day:


It's windy in Dallas.


I've been having a terrible time, so that's why I haven't posted my promised blog about Lebanon.
I just talked to my mom, and she was like "Alice, you have to choose between therapy and Arabic tutoring... and let me just mention, the therapy is going to cost $200, and the tutor will only cost $20."
I had to choose between my health and my future, pretty much... so I chose Arabic tutoring, because I need to know the language inside and out by 2011. I guess I'll just have to hope I don't kill myself before then.
It just pisses me off that I have to make these decisions. I know, people are probably saying, "Well you're lucky to even get one! Some people can't afford any of it!" Well, that sucks for them, but my grandfather is a fucking millionaire, and he gives us money to live... My mother spends hundreds on massages every month. Does she really need those massages? No, of course not. She could spend that money on my fucking mental health. Plus she gets child support every now and then, and of course, she spends that money on herself. Why the fuck don't I get the help I need when we obviously have the funds? Oh, right, she's too busy spending it on herself.
I feel like no one cares about how I turn out... and I know that's not true, but I can't help the way I feel right now.

Ugh. Is it stupid to be crying about this?


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I like how it burns my throat and warms my ears, and somehow everything seems to fade away...




--edit
To top it all off, Tracy died today (from heart problems).